Monday, January 26, 2009
新年快乐！
守岁闷死了，写了一首“高利贷／大尔窿版”的新年歌解闷！正月初一头一天，
有人欠钱不还钱，
把猪头砍下来，
挂在你家门前！
七个隆咚锵咚锵，
挂在你家门前！
正月初二第二天，
还没拿到红包钱！
买了喷漆，把对联
写在你大门前！
七个隆咚锵咚锵，
写在你大门前！
正月初三第三天，
拿个day off去拜年，
红包通通收齐了，
只差你那一点⋯
七个隆咚锵咚锵，
只差你那一点⋯
接下来的那三天，
给你时间去拜年！
红包钱都凑好了，
要记得来电！
七个隆咚锵咚锵，
要记得来电！
咱们跳到第七天，
老板请我捞鱼生，
听说现在他缺钱，
请你自动点！
七个隆咚锵咚锵，
请你自动点！
今天已经第八天，
你还敢要多三天！
请你还债快一点，
时间是金钱！
七个隆咚锵咚锵，
时间是金钱！
我们已经忍九天，
忍到大家都发癜！
拿你家人当出气筒，
每人赏几拳！
七个隆咚锵咚锵，
每人赏几拳！
有没搞错，第十天，
你还真的不要脸！
你欠我讨咱不累，
作词人也都累！
七个隆咚锵咚锵，
作词人也都累！
第十一到十四天，
你都一直没还钱！
钱欠过年还不够，
还欠到吃汤圆！
七个隆咚锵咚锵，
还欠到吃汤圆！
怎么搞到元宵节，
我的钱还不出现？
原来早在除夕夜，
你已经还了钱…
七个隆咚锵咚锵，
你已经还了钱…
已经还了钱！！！
No pigs or family members were harmed in the writing of this parody.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
[From my Tumblr]
I'm very sorry to say that our little Vondy has passed away peacefully on 14th January 2009.
She left us in her peaceful sleep this afternoon, only being the irresponsible owner I am thought she truly was sleeping.
I'm sorry for not being truthful - to myself and to everyone who knows and loves her - that she's been losing some weight despite eating well, and has been losing a bit of fur.
However even right up to her last days, she was active and well, enthusiastic to greet anyone who stops by her cage to say hi.
Vondy now sleeps in a nice wooden box I found on my shelf, with soft bedding, her favourite sunflower seeds, and biscuit treats. Tomorrow we will find a nice shady spot under the tree in our backyard, and lay her to rest.
Bye bye, Vondybaby.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Bye bye Sweet Seventeen, Hello Euphoric Eighteen!
Yes, I'm Euphorically, Ecstatically, Excitedly and Erotically (: O) EIGHTEEN!WHOO!!!
Okay. On with the business.
Actually today isn't such a marvellous day. I had the worst cramps in my life and spent the whole day after school aching, puking and sleeping it off...
But much thanks to everyone who's wished me a happy birthday today! In no particular order - or maybe, some order after all...
- Wei Ning
- Sherilyn
- Clarice
- Kuari
- Beatrice (thanks for the sandwich!! And so so sorry I unceremoniously puked it out after school because the cramps were too intense : ( )
- Ernest
- Yong Hao
- Yun'er
- Charissa
- Dionne
- Kristy
- Nina (in advance some more at the Tattoo Convention)
- Ziyan
- Li Ying
- My dear San-yi for sending me home after school U_U sorry for putting you out!
- And with that, my aunts and uncles who've remembered my birthday and given me angpows!
- My AHMA! For cheering me up with your special vegetarian curry potatoes! I love the steamed egg and the fried vegetables too but YOUR CURRY IS THE BEST!
and last but not least -
MY DADDY AND MUMMY!
For bringing me to this world, for providing me with the best of everything for eighteen years and counting, for providing me much amusement by being lovey-dovey and communicating over Skype every other night... and Mummy for coming to my rescue today along with San-yi.
So there. Thanks everyone!
Sunday, January 4, 2009
fuck! it's '09 8O
Erm, not that it took me four whole days to realise.For those you hankerin' after Grandmasta Vonday, she's taking a short break while I sift through my bookmarks to find the link. The real Vondy is currently slacking in her bigass stinkin' wire cage. Just bought her some wooden cubes and strawberry biscuits. She doesn't give a shit about the cubes and seems to hate the strawberry biscuits. OEI MARUKAN NOT CHEAP OKAY, ONE TINY BOX IS FIVE TIMES THE PRICE OF A MEDIUM-SIZED BOX OF HUMAN BISCUITS D:< So much for spoiling a one-and-a-half-year-old elderly hamster.
Uh, yes, Vondy's considered elderly folk now.
As for Kuku, he's now the official baby of the household. He just learnt how to fly, but has absolutely no sense of direction. Just a few days ago my dad made him fly... he flew up, then hit his tiny head on the ceiling and fell into a pile of newspapers by the stairs >< we rushed to his rescue, my dad cursing, "STUPID BIRD!" all the while.
And uh, '08 has been a pretty decent year for me. It hasn't been a fine year for a ton of people I know, but for me, I guess it's pretty alright, a very welcome break from '98 to '07, nine whole years of mainstream education stripping me of my sanity since childhood. This year I kinda got my freak back!
'08's a year of a couple of firsts too. We've got first year in poly, first year with no maths to struggle with, first year I have more than 5 people I call friends, first year I got singing parts for a musical (albeit a small one), first time I've liked someone with that much passion after 5 years of 5-second crushes (yes, I'm admitting it, go ahead and laugh at me, I know better than to blurt after that one nasty experience 5 years ago), first time I have a set of keys to my own house (but I always forget its presence), first time I've ever seen SNOW, what I believe to be the single most beautiful natural substance to fall on earth! AAAHHH!!! NEXT TIME I MUST MAKE SNOWMAN!!!
I've posted my resolution at my Tumblr, so I'm so not gonna repeat it here, go and read there yourself, you lazy bums.
'08 is also the year of maturation for me. For those who knew me all along, perhaps I look a lot like I'm going through some sort of spiritual retardation, but I've been feeling old for a bulk of my childhood, and in the 17th year of my existence, I feel absolutely compelled to be young and free, like how many a song has described people who are seventeen. And perhaps, it's only in accepting what I truly am that makes me feel young, yet come to an understanding that, yes, I know now.
In all my younger years, I thought I was doing the right stuff - pursuing unrealistic dreams (this, in layman's terms, is called aiming high, dreaming big, what have you), keeping cool, being part of the counterculture (or pretending to be), thinking I know the real Fangying.
But the events of '08 made me realise how stupid and pathetic I was - perhaps rightly so, how many non-stupid, non-pathetic 16-year-olds have you seen? This year, though I may be proved wrong as I continue existing, I learnt how much meaning life itself has - life is, quite plainly, meaningless and pointless.
Uh, no, I'm not being suicidal, nor am I being "realistic", you've got to see this from another angle. Life itself is meaningless and pointless - that's why every moment we're alive is precious.
Every moment you're happy, you carve out the meaning for that moment. Every moment you're not happy, you leave the moment meaningless. You only have a lifespan to accumulate as much meaning as possible, so whoever is reading my shit, stop right now and get out there and collect some meaning to your life!!! YOU FUCKTARD!
LOL LOL LOL YOU BOUGHT THAT STORY? COME ON, here's a true gem about life from Monty Python:
Life's a piece of shit, when you look at it,
Life's a laugh, and death's a joke, it's true!
You'll see it's all a show,
Keep 'em laughing as you go,
JUST REMEMBER THAT THE LAST LAUGH IS ON YOU!