Saturday, January 26, 2008
You are required to bow down to the Great Penguin and worship him until the snowmen melt. Also, please pay attention to his speeches on politics, nuclear weaponry, and peace.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
FOURTEEN.
'nuff said!
Stop asking me if I want to go JC. I do not. I will not even think of their existence.
It's a matter of perspectives and preferences, yeah? So just accept it that I'm abnormal.
Plus. My L1B4 is TEN. I can practically apply for any damned course in any damned polytechnic. Why should I suffer in a lousy JC with 14 points when I can at least enjoy some aspects of learning in a desired course?
So yeah. One more JC question and I will smack your face on the nearest pillar/tree trunk/I-beam/weathervane/Great Wall of China.
On a happier note. I realised I am so fucking lucky I want to brag as shamelessly as I can.
English- A1. Okay. Bonus 'cause I didn't see this one coming.
Lit - B3. Studied like shit and swallowed a good portion of each text. See what happens when you mug. Where is my A1? I don't see my A1!! However, it's a vast improvement considering I got F9 for prelims.
Combined Humanities (SS/Hist)- A2. WHAT THE MOTHER FUCKING HELL. That day when I got out of the exam hall for SS I was like, "Consider myself lucky if I don't get pulled down to a C6 because of this.". I didn't remember completing a single essay nor did I remember even remembering anything that was vaguely mentioned in the syllabus. I just went in, spaced out, and went out feeling like I have managed to disprove the theory that I was strong in Humanities. Turns out fate likes to play jokes on me. Plus I never really listened to Mr Hazry during History classes and was busy counting all the 'yahs' and 'okays' Ms Tan said in all those 30-minute SS lectures. If you saw my SS lecture notes you'll only see the same Chinese word "正" written all over 50-70 times in two columns, one labelled "YAH" and the other labelled "OKAY".
Emaths - B3. Once again proves that mugging like shit does not secure you an A. The only subject to neither improve nor get worse. SEE! MUG LIKE SHIT AND YOU JUST GET THE SAME SHIT BACK. WTF I SHALL NEVER MUG AGAIN.
Amaths - B4. Debunks the "Mug Like Shit = Distinction" theory once more. But proves that just a little Buddha-leg-hugging does help you jump 5 grades from F9 to B4.
Chemistry - B4. Now this one is a shocker. People who mugged Chemistry and didn't get more than A2 please close the browser now. I SLEPT FROM ONE END OF SEC 3 TO THE OTHER END OF SEC 4 IN EVERY SINGLE DAMNED CHEMISTRY CLASS AND MUGGED CHEM WITH THE TEXTBOOK OPENED TO THE INDEX SECTION AND I PASSED, I BLOODY PASSED. I WAS UNCONSCIOUS FOR EVERY SINGLE CHEMISTRY LESSON, SPA AND ALL. FROM ONG HOONG SIONG TO AGNES YAM TO ANG CHAN MAI MAI. I. ACTUALLY. PASSED. WITH A B4. AM I DREAMING???? AM I DREAMING OR NOT?!?!?!?!!!!!!!! I EENIE-MINEY-MEENIE-MOED ALL THE MULTIPLE-CHOICE QUESTIONS EXCEPT FOR THE NO-BRAINER ONES. I CREATED MY OWN SCIENTIFIC BULLSHIT THEORIES FOR SECTIONS B AND C. I EVEN GAVE ONE-LINERS FOR MY ESSAY. AND I ESCAPED WITH A B4. EITHER I'M SO FUCKING LUCKY OR I'M SO FUCKING RETARDED. Okay okay move on.
Higher Chinese - B3. Not surprised. Being brought up bilingual does not secure you an A for this subject either. So I have nothing to complain. Except my mom does 'cause she expected an A1 for my Higher Chinese.
In case some idiots think I'm bullshitting, I'm not. I really slept my Sec 3 and 4 life away. School was like a hotel for me: go in, sleep, come out. The few subjects I was motivated to mug for all didn't get As. You saw for yourself. Even then my version of mugging is just some Buddha-leg-hugging. Either that or I actually did work but in a trance so I can't remember now. But I highly doubt so. Who would brainwash me into mugging? Would I even allow others to brainwash me in the first place?! All I really did (if you must know before you sue me) was some quiet time in Starbucks, reading Macbeth like a coffee-table magazine, reading history like a child's storybook while drawing stupid caricatures of Leon Trotsky being kicked out of the Politburo by Stalin, Kamanev and Kinoviev (AKA Stalin and the KK Buddies). Oh and I remembered the Communist Song, where we screwed up the lyrics of the irritating James Blunt song, "You're Beautiful". "We're COMMUNISTS! We're COMMUNISTS! We're COMMUNISTS, IT'S TRUE! We'll smack your face, send you to outer space..." AND AND AND Horrible Histories - reading The Frightful First World War and The Woeful Second World War helped. A LOT. Okay sorry so I did, in a way, mug for History, just by liking it and being a fan of political satire. If you know a thing or two about political humour you will get History. But not SS. Oh, no. That one, it's a cheem, cheem subject of
And my math. I coulda done worse. I really thank my tutor for getting my ass off and actually count stuff. I really thank her for all the concern she showed me, whether it's for my maths, my other subjects, my emotional problems and etc. Without her I may have descended into a vortex of self-pity and pessimism. So thank you so much.
I have this sudden urge to re-read my History textbook and my notes 'cause suddenly I feel like laughing at people like Trotsky, Stalin, the KK Buddies, Khruschev (because he is fat, ugly, balding, and speaks with a loud wet lisp. Hardly the kind of Communist leader you'd deem fit of succeeding our Ironman champion, Mr Josef Stalin), Tito (just because his name is funny, ditto. His first name is worse. YOSIP. YOSIP TITO.), Mao, Chiang, Yuan Shikai (because he's so stupid. Imperialism was so over, done and flattened like kwaychap but he didn't get it. Slow on the uptake the poor fellow is.), Henry Puyi (just to laugh at his name. Henry-POOI!), Hitler (there's TOO MUCH to laugh about this guy. He's like a bull with a conspicuous nose ring. You just want to tickle his chin and tweak his nose ring when he gets all fired up reading his speeches. You just want to use a pair of bright shiny surgical tweezers and pluck at every single strand of his tacky little toothbrush moustache. You'd just like to make a point that he has only one testicle, and keep mentioning that after every sentence in his speech and make him so furious he wants to hand you over to his Brownies. There are just so many things you want to laugh about this guy. Seriously.), and of course, the most useless League in the world, the League of Nations. Supposed to prevent war but became a source of it anyway. Sorry got carried away.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Tomorrow's D-day. Dammit.
I'm having second thoughts about anticipating its arrival now!
Oh dear. I'm really scaring myself shitless thinking about what's gonna be on the result slip and putting my sanity on the frontline trying to talk to my folks about it.
Oh shit. What if I fail. Then my mum's prophecy will come true and I will have to keep all my Sec 4 books... or not.
For nearly every week since the holidays started my mum has constantly reminded me not to throw away my old books in case I need to repeat Sec 4. Even though I kept reminding her that the syllabus has changed and, more importantly, stop scaring me.
Then my dad just told me yesterday, "It's okay to repeat. Your uncle repeated his Sec 4 too but still managed to go to Singapore Polytechnic."
Then today my mother gave me a stress ball in the shape of a pig with the word "Lucky" written on it. And she offered to accompany me to take my results but I told her not to 'cause it's a lot of trouble, getting her out of the office and into the school. Besides if we're unlucky we might have a stand-off with Ms Ow. I might then use the pig as a sort of a Ms Ow-voodoo doll and pinch it if she comes near. Watch her flee.
Oh man!! What am I to do if I am hit once again by the kind of results I got for my PSLE? The kind of results where my upbringing and family culture makes me perceive it as bad? I've had this mental struggle over what is good or bad. Frankly no one in my family is happy with my PSLE, but a whole lot of other people I have met over the past four years have told me that my grades were rather good. I don't know who to believe and I don't know how to convince one party it's not so bad and convince the other that it's not so good, and to reconcile this confusing double-standards myself.
I'm trying hard not to bother so much about it, but the idea that things can't be changed anymore just makes me feel even more fatalistic that ever.
Shall relieve tension by playing The Sims 2 Seasons now!!!!!
Sunday, January 20, 2008
"☮, baby."
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Well, it's been quite an eventful weekend and I guess I should at least tend to my blog for the moment. So maybe I shall talk about the weekend!
Friday: I got up at 6:45 AM. SIX FORTY FIVE!! Waaay early considering I, unlike the unfortunate lot of you who have to go to school, am slacking at home and shaking legs, twiddling thumbs and controlling the Sim universe in my custom-made gaming machine. Well normally I do not waste my time trying to lift my 123 lbs of fats on a towering 5'1.5" frame off the floor (I'm sleeping on the floor... okay with a thin mattress in between. 'Cause my grammie's here for the holidays), but since my grammie's gonna go to the polyclinic in Clementi (!!!) to get a blood test and I'm not savvy with letting her do it all on her own while I slack at home so I got up and went with her. No, no blood samples of the Unfathomable Lamer were extracted.
Okay the waiting part was boring. The breakfast part was boring (save for a lunatic who tried to pinch money from us). The travelling-to-my-aunt's part was boring. The walking part was boring.
By this time it was 9:30 AM or so. You gotta understand that, contrary to the beautiful picture the adults paint of themselves, as the great pencil-pushers and broom-wielders silently but surely influencing the world like an undercurrent, they do get up late. And my grammie knows. So we hatched a plan of breaking and entering her house while she sleeps... well not exactly breaking in since my grammie has the keys. But yeah that's the plan.
Unfortunately... we messed up. Or rather I messed up. I was carrying this bag of rice as I was going in and being careless and clumsy I stumbled a little and the bag of rice hit the shoe cabinet with a dull thud. Bummer.
My aunt still didn't come out, surprisingly, but when we entered her room, she sat bolt upright on her bed and stared at us. And of course, like any other mother would, my grammie proceeded to talk her out of the bed and brush her teeth... dentures I mean.
Okay boringboringboringboring..... fastforwardfastforward....
Then I watched Click on HBO. Nice little comedy with a real big moral to the story. Then...
fastforwardfastforwardfastforward.....
After lunch! I stepped into... COMICS CONNECTION... and bought...
THE SIMS 2
SEASONS!!
YAAAAYYYYYYYYY!!!!
Okay the rest of the day is shitfully boring. Because I didn't get home until 11pm... due to some of the older folk who gleefully decided to partake in some mahjong and got carried away.
Saturday: Let's jump straight to dinner. So we had dinner in this alfresco diner in Bishan Park, and everything on the menu was vegetarian or vegan. The best part was the tom yam beehoon was so awesome and so was the strawberry+apple blended juice, aptly named Refresh. That's all.
Sunday: I went back to SHHK for the first time in nearly a year. Everybody still looks the same. It was full of talk and not much action, but I have to admit my teacher's idea for an acting exercise was good - think of a character you'd love to, but have never, played and develop this character. I immediately had some ideas but... well even though she said even acting as prostitutes and lunatics are okay but still I have my reservations about telling them I wanted to play a tattoo artist.
Monday: I got pwned (I seriously cannot find a better word to express the severity of it) by the hot pot or ma la huo guo or whatever you call it in Geylang. I can take the spiciness, yes, but the numbing action is what I call the P-factor, P for "pwning". This is the first time in history I surrendered and kowtowed to a pot of hot boiling chilli soup. The secret: peppercorns. My lips were literally on fire and I can feel the blood in my capillaries rushing to get rid of this hell. In the end I got full not because of how much I ate, but the insane amount of coke I was downing in a desperate but futile bid to rid my buccal cavity of the unearthly sensation. I shall never set foot in Geylang again.
Saturday, January 12, 2008
OMFG.
Do you know what song is bugging my head right now.
CRAIG DAVID'S HOT STUFF.
It's such a... weird song.
I don't know if I like it or hate it, but it sure has a lot of impact and staying power in a person's brain.
And the MV. I've only seen it twice on Channel V but it's already stuck.
OMG. Eew.
"Let's Dance!
Get on the floor
No need to hold back
Sexy thong, mini-skirt, stilletos (EWWW SERIOUSLY!!)
And shakin' all that
What you doin' to me
Girl I can't hold back
Some Hot Stuff
Is all that I need
So why we waitin'
Let's Dance!"
HELP!!!!
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Behold, I created my Twitty Ah Lian Alter Ego! SEE HER PROFILE!
Have a good laugh, and don't forget to add her at bbenddan_sotonggq_feiizhuu_piigu@woshiiahhliian.com!
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!
From Austin Powers in Goldmember!
PLUS
Those who watch Heroes, there's another Heroes actor in the SAME movie:
Recognise the third guy? Yup, it's Greg Grunberg!
XD
Is she a beauty or what! n_n
This darling took me one whole night of photoshopping. Now I have her printed along with the calendar format!
Today I met up with Wei Ning and Chiang Jia Ying, an old classmate of ours from the 5DD/6D days. I have to admit she hasn't changed much, still her old bubbly self! Still the same old chatterbox she was in the old days. Had lunch at Subway together, then a spot of shopping at Bugis for Jia Ying with us tagging along, helping her pick some stuff while we jostled along the aisle, laughing at any funny or ugly clothes we saw in the departmental store. Once Jia Ying settled all her stuff we sat down in Starbucks for a cuppa. Tried something new for a change - espresso macchiato! Espressos are to coffee as vodkas are to alcoholic drinks, so if regular coffee makes me sleepy, espresso is worse o_o. I'm not kidding, people always claim that coffee energises, but I feel light-headed and drowsy after a cuppa! So yeah. Headed home to my grandma's homemade chili, dried shrimp and dried turnips. And finish photoshopping my January Girl! n_n.
Monday, January 7, 2008
Tagged by: Sherilyn... actually more like I volunteered 'cause she tagged "anyone who wants to do this"!
Rules of the game:
Choose a singer/band/group.
Answer using ONLY titles of songs.
Tag 3 more people:
Ehh... just do it if you feel like doing it!
The Chosen Ones: LINKIN PARK!!
1. Are you male or female? In Between... HAHA
2. Describe yourself: No Roads Left/Breaking The Habit (I can't decide!!)
3. What do people feel when they're around you? Faint! (I know... you guys just want to faint when you're with me 'cause I'm so difficult, RIGHT!)
4. How would you describe your previous relationship? N/A
5. Describe your current relationship: N/A
6. Where would you want to be now? High Voltage/Step Up (once again, my Libra-rising-induced indecisiveness takes over.)
7. How do you feel about love? My December
8. What's your life like? With You/Points Of Authority/One Step Closer (SORRY!!)
9. What would you ask for if you had only one wish? Wake/ Cure For The Itch (I don't care even if it is one wish.)
10. Say something wise: Announcement Service Public!
Done!
Saturday, January 5, 2008
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
"High Voltage is the power source of the audio weapons system's core. It comes at you from every side. It was invented when Professor Shinoda was digging in the crates. This was back when he was living in space - before the rat race, and before monkeys had human traits.
First, he mastered numerology and big-bang theology, and then he began performing lobotomies with telekinetic psychology. Being a somewhat religious and sentimental man that likes to nurture (as evidenced by his appearance in some music videos in a church), he invented the mic so he could start blessing it and began chin-checkin’ kids to make his point like an impressionist.
Many other men have tried to shake Linkin Park, but they twist Mike into double helixes and show them what he’s made of. This buckles his knees like leg braces and makes him say strange things like "instrumental-ness" and because of that, all of the emcees they hate him because he's not into that fake Karaoke copy bullshit, so he breaks their bones verbally with sticks-and-stones tactics. "
- Linkin Park's entry at Uncyclopedia.org
I was paralysed with laughter after reading this. Seriously.
Let's just say you won't get the joke unless you know the lyrics to High Voltage by Linkin Park.
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
HAPPY 2008!
Firsts of 2007:
First food: Instant noodles at 1am.
First beverage: plain water.
First shirt: LP Hybrid Theory tee!
First pet to come in contact with: My cousin's Maltese, Snowy!
First person to talk to on MSN: Kristy!
First sport: bowling (ended with a high score of 13. THIRTEEN!!)
Yes. I am a lousy bowler. I can start the ball rolling on the right side of the lane and the ball can end up on the left gutter.
So I got 13. THIRTEEN.
What a lovely way to start the year.