Current music: Dancing Queen by ABBA.
Aackkkk! I had the best dream in a long while last night. I dreamt that I was LONGBOARDING! AAAARRRGGHH how cool is that... too bad it's just a dream!!
It's supposed to be a period of freedom... now it's all just week after week of repression, what for? Why am I repressing myself? I don't think I am, I'm feeling repressed still, then who is the one holding me back? What is holding me back?
Is it my emotional attachment to my family? Is it a bad thing? I really hate the fact that to keep the equilibrium I have to forgo so many things I want to do right now. For those you who've known me for quite some time, you'll know there are many things I really really really want to do but always can't fulfill them. I know based on the way things are done in my family it takes rebellion to accomplish the things I wish to do, but is that rebellion necessary? I choose to not think so. I want to keep on believing that there's always a workaround for these things.
Maybe I should stop seeing emotions, blood ties, passions and interests as interrelated entities. They are separate. They are not related. Especially emotions. I now find it utterly useless and paralysing, especially in times when you need to get things right.