Thursday, April 17, 2008

Oh whaddya know. Bloggin' from school third time in a row.

You can't blame me, my schedule is slaughter + murder + nightmare!

If you JC kids think poly kids have it easy, I certainly am not!

So about yesterday. My first Audio Tech tutorial (WritComm tutorial is too fucking brainless to talk about) was a completely frightening experience.

It's interesting, yes, but scary. On the other hand it makes me really, really, really appreciate people who work behind the scenes now. Oh boy now I have this certain subliminal hate for useless actors (and I am an actor, mind you, albeit not a film/TV actor).

So, yup, I kinda slightly screwed things up, but hey, I am a freshman bitch who doesn't know nothin'!

Sigh. The week so far has been pretty tiring and exhausting, usually due to travelling. Everyday when I get home, my legs can hardly support my weight, my shoulders feel like play-dough, my eyelids are glued half-shut by tiredness and basically I suffer from sleep withdrawal. I'm not that deprived of sleep per sé, because it's not like I'm only getting less than two hours of sleep, but rather, I'm so used to excessive sleeping, I'm kinda addicted to that pleasant, flighty feeling of being nowhere in particular. Plus it's hard to sleep well now that there's too much on my mind; I often hang in there, between sleep and wakefulness, hearing the A/C hum and precious sleep-time flying past my ears. Then a loud thud and I have to wake up to reality again.

But still, it wasn't as bad as secondary school. Back then, I was apathetic about what I was supposed to learn. I hated or disliked everything, except for a few good aspects of school life, mostly friends-related. I often just slept through school anyway; by the start of my last semester in secondary school, I think my teachers have seen me sleep more than stay awake. I think they couldn't even be bothered to wake me up by then.

But here it's a different story. It only superficially feels the same — the tiredness, the complaints and the dreading. On a deeper level, however, at least I can see that most, if not all, that I'm learning here are of interest to me. (The same must never be said for IS and WritComm) My classmates and I, we're kinda equal here and there. No such thing as being here because "I was streamed to the worst class in the level", nobody "doesn't want to be here at all". I don't know them well, and they know little of me too, but from what I see, everyone's nice and friendly, very unlike the kind of shitass motherfuckers we get in Zhonghua, the kind who are nothing but grades, sycophantic strangers who'd rather die than rise above the norm, spineless creatures who have no more to their lives than calculus, essays, and theories. Luckily I don't get fuckwads like them here in FSV. The same can't be said for FMS, or NP. I had lectures with kids from MCM or DVFX, they are fuckwads with serious intelligence deficiency and cerebral damage.

Class starts in less than 10 minutes. Gotta go, kthxbai!